Saturday, December 05, 2009

That I may blog

I still don't have a laptop. I feel like a farmer without a hoe. so much for claiming to be a writer.

It has been reported that it was reported in PM News that Pastor Bimbo Odukoya is in Hell, some pastor made this declaration. I don't know if anyone asked him what he was doing there in hell himself. I have heard many ridiculous things but this must be the height. Who is this man? What is the relevance of this stupid information? Couldn't he have gotten his five minutes of fame without making such a callous statement?

Yaradua, dear president, what can I say? And Jonathan Goodluck, what can I say either? For once, I have no opinion. I'm just watching from my window.

I attended the experience and I loved the experience. Babatunde Fashola gave a short speech, that man, that man, oh that man.......
I was particularly impressed with the prayer points raised. Before, Our pastors would be praying some very soft prayers but last night was fire. so much prayer for Nigeria. Finally, Nigerians are really getting fed up. I believe religious bodies have huge roles to play towards change in Nigeria. The people listen to them for one thing.

My life has been good. A few tough situations here and there but I shouldn't complain really, I still have things going on well and I am grateful for little mercies. The love and respect of a good man, the unconditional love of son, a job I enjoy, the bestest friends and God's faithfulness and infinite mercy, guidance and so much more.

God bless y'all.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009


I didn't see the robbers. There may never even have been any. But my laptop dissappeared from my laptop bag from inside my sitting room. Everything else is intact, the charger, the headphones. My baby has two minders. A 40something year old lady that leaves by 6pm and I have a young girl that returns from school by 2pm.
The young girl(after much questioning)says some lady came to the house at about 6.30pm after the nanny had gone. Said lady asked for water and blue and yellow capsule, she said we didnt have, lady asked her to go check in the room, and SHE WENT. Now, I don't know what is blue and yellow capsule so it's not possible for us to have had it so?
My laptop is always with me but was home that day cos I was out of town, Igwe went to take the kids to my sis at about 7pm. He didn't meet this strange woman.

The young girl has strict instructions never to open the door for anyone when we aren't home, so why did she open the door for a stranger who said she was looking for her Aunty? Can she be lying, she's an excellent liar but has never stolen from me. The Nanny is new, just about a month, can she be the culprit?The Story is very funny. Most people say send both of them packing but I've been through so many domestic help, I don tire.

I hate being stolen from but more than that, I hate the intrusion. And all I kept thinking was they could very easily have taken my son. Thank God for God.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Nigeria: Is there not a curse?

I am Nigerian with a green passport FACT1
I do not apologise for it. FACT2
It makes immigration officers hair stand. FACT3
For the love of me does not care. FACT4


I pledge to Nigeria my country

To be faithful, loyal and honest

To serve Nigeria with all my strength

To defend her unity and uphold her honor and glory

So help me God.

For those of us who studied in Nigeria we must have recited the pledge at least a million times through primary and secondary school. Apparently, it meant nothing if anything to us.
First it was district 9. The SA/Hollywood film that portrays Nigerians as 419’s prostitutes etc. I have not seen the movie but the reviews have told me all I need to know.

Now it’s the Sony advert. I think this is extremely cheap and irresponsible of SONY. For a whole team to come up with that, pass it through several people and still decide that the advert was perfect, then it’s a big big shame. Nigeria, a country where the product is sold in mass. But my grouse is not necessarily with SONY, it is more with Nigerians who don’t see anything wrong with it, and those who think that Dora has no right to ask that the advert be retraced and Sony offer a public apology.

When I read some of the comments on the issue, I almost gave up on Nigerians. How dare we say that it is okay for people to insult us? Yes, Nigeria has corrupt leaders, Yes Nigeria has yahoo, yahoo boys, Yes, Some Nigerians are stupid and foolish and docile and cowardly and just empty barrels but that does not justify another national calling us these names to our faces. If the security guy falls asleep on his post, does that justify the thief? Is a drunk driver justified because a pub was left open?

I don’t care that almost all our leaders are thieves giving us a bad name. Whenever I travel, I travel with my head held high. Yes, they scan and scan and rescan my passport but I don’t care, I will not apologise for being a Nigerian, they can’t never intimidate me. When they are done with their scanning, they hand me back my passport and I walk away, sometimes I can’t resist adding if they are sure they don’t want to scan some more. Being Nigerian is not a crime and one day, I swear, my child will stand proud that he is one.

My brother was initially refused a British study visa, they claimed that my mother, who sponsored him ,had forged her statement of account. My brother was livid. Being a journalist, he replied them immediately threatening fire and brimstone and demanding an apology. How dare them call his mother-who had served his fatherland in the civil service for thirty five years- a fraudster? If the embassy staff were not diligent enough to decipher what statement was false and which wasn’t, should he be made to pay for their irresponsibility. He raved and ranted and they called him up, apologised and granted him the visa.

What is my point?That it don’t matter that Nigeria is more bad than good(and that is debatable)It don’t give no one no right to insult us. And we have to learn to stand up for this country. If not for us, for our children. I believe that the older generation is lost and there is no saving them. Only us, the younger people can save this country, but how can we save a country, we have no passion for, we hold no respect for?

I don’t think anyone would pat another on the back for insulting our parents, our tribe or our religion, so why do we let them insult Nigeria?
It doesn’t matter if we become the best country in the world, if we have no self respect as a nation, no other nation will respect us.

Finally, to all those thieving leaders who have contributed in bringing shame upon our nation. MAY THE FULL WRATH OF GOD DESCEND UPON THEM!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009


That should actually have read unedited. Just bits and pieces of stuff.

Sanusi and the highway thieves.

I got that from a book-samankwe and the highway thieves. Wonder how many of you read it?

So Sanusi or CBN has sacked 5 bank chiefs. I find it very embarassing and disturbing. Particularly on the part of Ibru and Akingbola who are regular speakers at their churches. Someone must have redefined christianity while I slept or how else do you explain the fraud, and yes, I insist it is fraudulent to give loans to non-credible people, I understand Ibru recently acquired a bank in Sao-Tome and her sons all had ghost companies which they used to borrow money from Oceanic. Depositors money! They should be tried and if found guilty, treated as common criminals.

However, there is something uncanny about Sanusi's approach, about his urgency and about the concentration on these five banks. Having been Nigerian long enough, I know that he has got something up his sleeve. There have been many rumours: they want to sell the banks to Northerners, they want to use the banks to secure a loan from IMF, he is settling a personal vendetta and so on and so forth.
Nigeria really has me baffled, while I believe that crimes must be punished, I do think that when it concerns public interest, one must thread softly. So Sanusi says these banks are on the virge of collapse, and with the same voice, he plans an international roadshow where he intends to market said banks to would be investors. I need someone to explain it to me like I am a four year old.
A very bad marriage
I have watched a friend battle with a very bad marriage. The evil that some men do has absolutely no bounds. The beatings, the threats to her life etc. Her story would give any one goose bumps. Finally, though there's been progress. There's been a restraining order on him and the divorce case is in court. This is a cry out to women, please, please, please do not marry an extremely jealous, violent, poor, heavy drinking etc man.

Centage talent hunt
I watched Centage talent hunt run by Kennis music. I don't know what it is that makes us Nigerians not do things well, Just how hard can it be? Don't they watch other shows, don't they understand that the judges are much a part of the show as the contestants? The judges are Jimmy Jatt, kenny Saint 1 and sme other guy I have never seen. They all wear some funny looking glasses, this is something I can't understand, how are they supposed to have eye contact with the contestants when they are wearing dark glasses? or they don't think eye contact is important? Those judges are so boring, all talk the same. I hope I never come across the show again.

Light up Nigeria
I went into the group last night and was reading the comments. Some Andrew guy is insisting Nigeria can never have constant power supply. I thought the group was for us hopefuls who want to come together and see how we can find a solution. If you don't believe in a cause, why do you join the cause? Naijans sha. someone mentioned that that's how it was said that a black can never be president yet....
Nigeria will have constant power supply. All of us who believe in this country will see to it.

I apologise for the layout of this post-something to do with my browser.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Nigeria must be the toughest country to live in. Okay, scratch that as I remember being stuck in Khartoum, Sudan sometime ago.
This morning after driving many miles to drop my car off at the service centre somewhere very far away, I come back home and settle down to write. But of course there is no electricity, and the generators won't start. I apply my little knowledge of machines and get one to work. Thirty minutes after it dies. Pray tell, how do two gens pack up at once, particularly at a time when I have a deadline? So I come to my office, and believe this, the gen isn't working either, Is this what it means to be jinxed? I use the small gen with my heart in my mouth as it has blown up two of my power packs previously.
I put the lapy to charge and off to lunch I go at my buka only to discover they have been closed down by the council or something for having an unclean environment. While this is a good thing, why today that for the love of me is starving and broke and pressed for time?
I am back with my lapy only I can't find the strength to write and my client is calling me incessantly as I have already been paid for the job. I am just staring at the screen, it'll soon be time to hit the gym, I hope no surprises await me there or I will just book into mountain of fire for deliverance.
Sat-3 is down, whatever that is. Starcomms is one of the few functional internet provider in this country at the moment and the speed is....... Only in Nigeria, walai.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Reuben Abati

Don't Panic. It's not another rejoinder to his (goof) article. Instead, I think he may have redeemned his image with this piece.

'President Yar'├ždua insults us when the same week that Babalola ruined our December, he told us through egbon Ojo Maduekwe, that we should wait and judge him after his tenure. The Foreign Affairs Minister said: "We will not join hands with those critics, the government will not be distracted by the daily torrent of abuses thrown at its doorsteps by those who do not even know the names of their local government areas. They are intellectual hit men, seen to pull down every administration and are too lazy to fight for power. In the course of time, the outcome of our seven-point agenda will vindicate us." President Obasanjo said precisely the same thing about Nigerians, pipeline vandals and intellectual hit men and see where he has left us. Can Yar'├ždua and his hit men please convert all of these many words that continue to tumble out of their mouths into megawatts of electricity and give us light in this country? Then, they can judge us. '

I thought that was fantastic. Yaradua, please kindly do as he has asked, if you are the president, turn these words into electricity.

He also responds nicely to Is-haq Akintola who thinks Arabic should be restored on the Naira notes.
He asks: "The question is what is wrong if Arabic is on the Naira? Is English not there? The Arabic on the Naira symbolizes the existence of Muslims in the country while the English on the Naira represents the Christian population. To remove the Arabic unceremoniously is to tell the Muslims that they do not belong." He wants the Arabic inscriptions restored. Wrong. Absolutely wrong and mischievous.

Yes Mr. Reuben,please tell him. Nigeria is a SECULAR state and will remain so. If you want to be an Islamic fundamentalist so bad, you may want to migrate. I just simply don't understand these guys, How on earth is the presence of Arabic on the naira note going to better the lives of Muslims, Is it going to end the Niger Delta crises which clearly the govt. has no idea what to do or will it provide us electricity? The North has been in power for years and yet the North remains the least developed in Nigeria. Shouldn't Akintola be impressing on his leaders to do something to alleviate the sufferings of the Notherners who are predominantly muslims? He is talking about arabic on Naira notes. If you are looking to start a war, you have failed. People are to hungry to fight unworthy causes.

May something great happen to y'all this week.

Friday, June 12, 2009

He is just not into you.......

I saw this movie last night at the Ozone cinema ,Yaba, Lagos. That was my first time there despite it being a walking distance from my office. Everyone complains about the island/mainland divide and everyday it seems more obvious. Ozone cinema is so different from silverbird cinemas, V. I despite it being owned by the same or sister companies. It's as if the management couldn't be bothered to try too hard, it is after all, Yaba. Anyway I digress.
He is just not into you is a movie about relationships; the signs that tell if he is interested or not and the stupid reasons women make up for themselves when a man isn't calling or picking his calls. It takes us around different continents, and naturally when they show African women, it is of women in huts. Nonsense, but again I digress.
My beef today is with women who lay everything at the feet of the man simply because they want him to marry them, if he aint going to marry you, he aint going to marry you no matter what you do and if by some chance he marries you, you'd be so miserable in the marriage. Why does everyone make such a big deal about marriage anyway? Before you guys jump on my throat, I am happy I am married and would recommend it but if someone insists that he/she is happily single, why must we force, coerce, urge them to marry? For christians, will there be a reward in heaven for having beeen married?
Why do we(read women) tie our happiness to a man? I have always been happy, (how can I not be happy when there's food and fanta and icecream?) before I married and much as I love being married, I would still have been happy had I not married! Get a life, women!
I am angry because a friend of mine married a guy she met a total of 6 times and now the guy's turning out to be an absolute jerk and she's shocked? How can you be shocked? And she's such a good kid she don't deserve this,now she wants a divorce and fast so what was the point?The marriage is just about six months.
Her mother pushed, her friends pushed etc. Everywhere you turn they are asking when you are getting married, and when you marry, they are asking when you'll have kids and when you have kids, they are asking when you'll die.
Another acquaintance has been married 4 years and has never worked and it isn't like the husband is rich. All she does is sit at home and wait for him to come home and nag when he doesn't. Now the guy has moved out, I would too if I had a husband whose only job was to wait for me to come home.
Women please, get a life, get friends, get a job, volunteer at a home, anything. Stop waiting hand and foot on a man. If he loves you, he'll show it, if he treats you like a jerk, then he don't send you. Move on. Fish plenty for water.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

In the time that I was gone:

My cousin was kidnapped. Yeah, not someone I know from afar. It happened right in my family. We paid 2 million naira. And got her back. So based on that I should be one of those campaigning for the millitants to all be killed as I have experienced the evil that they are or have led to.(I don't think it was millitants who kidnapped my cousin, just some criminals). But I am not because I can't see the millitants, all can see are women and children being killed. Innocent citizens suffering for nothing that is a fault of theirs. The oil has been more of a blessing than a curse. The people were better off without it. They could fish and there wwas no crime, now all that's gone. All they had left was life, and in true Nigerian style, they believed that where there was life, there was hope, but even that has been taken from there. Many of them are dead. I don't even know who to blame, the government or the millitants. I am just so sad,sad for the many innocent people whose only crime was being born into the Niger Delta.

My boy took his first steps. Time sure flies, one momment he is very tiny and the next he is a man as one of my friends would say, na to marry remain.

I met someone while playing scrabble online. Ann. She is absolutely fantabulous. An Israeli but originally a New Yorker. She is a writer. I think writers are one of the most intelligent of people. Duh if you don't agree.

The reason for which I stopped blogging became invalid. Was passing through a phase and happy that it is over.

How have you guys been?

Monday, February 16, 2009

The many different goodbyes.

And so it ended. But I had an absolutely fabulous time, the best part was when I ran into Derek Luke at the airport. I have an autograph and a picture to show my kids.

And with that I'll be kissing the blog goodbye. I thought I would be able to do 100 posts but alas.
My posts have become too personal and I seem unable to change that. I have also lost the anonymity that I once had so this blog is no longer serving the purpose for which it was created.

But I am here, lurking around in the dark and maybe oneday if I find my political cap again, I may return.

I had a good time here. I met wonderful people.

Be good y'all.

This song is like my best song ever!. Enjoy !

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Day 3 and .......

Part 1. Charlie Checkpoint Museum. something someone made, looks like an Okada. He escaped with it with his son strapped to his chest.

A handmade plane. was also used to flee germany.
Someone hiding in a loudspeaker box. That's how he made it past the border.

Another hiding spot.

Tied to these cylinders are balloons,well something that looks like balloons. People tied themseleves to the strings and ... I really can't remember how it worked but it did.

Part 2. Beautiful berlin.

My roommate and I skipped classes this morning and decided to see the town instead. Here is what we saw.
The Charlie checkpoint museum was a bit depressing. A bitter reminder of what man is capable of. The sufferings of innocent men and women and children have all been preserved. It reminded me of Biafra. I wondered who is better off; Germany who has kept the sad memories and unashamedly invites people to see it or Nigeria who has done everything to make us forget Biafra or act like it didn't happen.
There aren't many people who go shopping, actually there aren't many people in Germany. Particularly absent are children. I have seen more dogs than kids since I got here. The shops are beautiful.This galleria, I think is the most beautiful shop I have ever seen. It had five floors. All I could afford there was chocolate.

Sunday, February 08, 2009


No, I don´t mean you silly.

I flew with an old, fat, pot bellied man who says he is a natural healer cum film maker. There was a long wait at Amsterdam and seats too uncomfortable for sleep so we got talking. There´´s a third Nigerian with us but he doesn´t say much. We get to Berlin and share a cab, fat old man tries to hold my hand in the cab, I ask him if he is well, and he starts to confess undying love. I can´´t remember the last time I was so disgusted. Yuuuk.! I think that if you are going to go about chasing women as a married old man, you should at least be good looking,very rich or very tush otherwise what's the motive?

I have three roommates: Hungarian, Portuguese and English. The Hungarian and I are painting the town red. She is the bum.

I like it here; the program that is. Every writer/film maker should attend. There's so much to learn. And so many people to meet.

I think the whole of Europe looks the same. I haven´t been to that many European countries though.

The bell has just gone for another workshop.Funny they should use abell but it works.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

My eyes have seen.

A new car wash has been opened in my area. They sell alchohol. so while you are waiting for your car to be washed, you can get high. Igwe thinks my own is too much, I should leave guys alone. Alchohol is considered one of the few pleasures of life.

This morning while we drove to church,we saw a bad accident. It was glaring it must have been a drunk driver. I wondered if he was coming from the car wash.

The second set of pictures is of the church we used for the film. It is a real church. People sit here sunday after sunday listening to the 'gospel'. In this filth? The place was stinking, I'm surprised none of us got sick. Besides its being a church, people actually live here.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Back in Naija

I am happy to be home. My son was ecstatic to see his momma. Unfortunately, I have to travel again soon without him. I feel bad particularly as he is a little unwell. I pray that he will be fine soon.

At the airport, I always see people packing and repacking their bags. Don't they have scales at home? I find it really not nice.

I met a blogger,loomnie in Birmingham. i was initially skeptical, what with his intellectual blog, I thought he would be a bore but surprisingly, he was fun.

RE: The arrested goat.

Because I am Nigerian, I do not completely dismiss the possibility of a human turning into a goat or any other animal for that matter. I however think that police work is serious work and should be taken as such. There should first of all have been an investigation such as: was a goat missing, or was a man missing, has this ever happened? etc. They are police men for heaven's sake not court jesters.


Monday, January 26, 2009

What a laugh.

Police parade goat as robbery suspect E-mail
Written by Demola Akinyemi
Friday, 23 January 2009

*For attempting to ‘steal’ a Mazda car

It was a shocking sight yesterday as men of the Kwara State Police Command paraded a goat as an armed robbery suspect.

The goat "robbery suspect"

For more on this see vanguard.

Ah Nigeria, my beloved Nigeria. When shall we break free from the holds of superstition. This goat belongs in my pot for heaven's sake. It will be perfect for asun and here it is awaiting trial.
The goat "suspect" is being detained over an alleged attempt to snatch a Mazda car. The mysterious goat, according to the Police Public Relations Officer, Mr. Tunde Mohammed, while briefing bewildered journalists at the Force headquarters, is an armed robber who attempted to snatch the said car, Wednesday night, and later transformed into the goat in a bid to escape arrest.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Fortunately it's not so cold here.

My graduation is tomorrow. Yippie, I did it. I almost didn't graduate you know but Jehovah did it.

I didn't come with my boys because of plenty tory. I miss them plenty.

I just finished a short film on the childwitch brouhaha. I couldn't reach the guy(the one who supposedly killed 100 witches) but he claims he was paid to say that. While I don't completely believe him, I have never entirely believed the documentary. Even NIJ teaches better journalism than that.
I also found that most of those babies/kids portrayed as abandoned by their parents were orphaned children and most if not all are in homes.
I have seen enough of British press to know how they manipulate stuff. That's why I decided to dig some more and I am not finished yet.

yes, there are several of these pastors about who call these kids witches but they all take money and supposedly cast the witchcraft out. If the nailing of a kid happened, I didn't find the culprit or anyone who witnessed it.

Calling a child a witch is now a crime in Akwa Ibom. Parents and pastors alike will be inprisoned.

The other side of the story is that so many people tried to get me to change the script to infer that childwitches truly exist. So a lot of people believe in it. Some of the cast claimed to have witnessed it.

I'm out.

Does anyone live in Birmingham, my brother is new here and hasn't yet discovered the African shop. And I counted pennies before coming. Help!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

AN update of sorts.

It’s 12am. I want to sleep so bad but I have to finish the script. I send it in tomorrow. The producer will take no excuses. The baby is still sleeping,Bless him, but anytime now he will wake. He is 7 months today but still wakes at night sometimes up to three times. It’s taking a toll on me. Mothers in the house, help!
My Christmas trip home was cool. My parents were amazing. I was fed, pampered for a week. Was back in Lagos before the new Year. I attended plenty parties. Enjoyed them all, the dance, the food, the people, the colour.
Once, I was an Okada major. Were I still one now, I would have bought my own helmet. Perhaps an inflatable one. Ain’t no way I would share helmets with a million Lagosians. And no, i don’t think I will disappear if I wear one but I worry about lice and other things. I’m becoming germophobic like headandaround.
I am job hunting but not very seriously. I am trying to take this writing thing to another level. I hope hunger no go kill me. Working from home is tough though because Igwe almost always calls, asking to check here and there for this and that or Igwe junior’s nanny would bring him claiming he wants bube. They don’t understand what the distraction does to me. And when I go to the office I share with Igwe, his friends keep coming; for the love of me,can I just check my mail, can I quickly burn a CD etc. More Distractions.
I am struggling to lose weight. I am now more sympathetic towards fat people. I didn’t know it would be this hard. Gym three times a week, very little to eat and the fat is still stuck on me. Maybe I will do drugs next.
I met a blogger. Online still. Great personality.
Happy new year everyone. May all good things come to you this year and always.