Sunday, August 12, 2007

See me see toronkwacha.

My mum just came in to town. Na so I no dey hear word againooo. For the love of me, what are you going to eat, for the love of me, you are letting your husband drink garri, eh, with that many cubes of sugar, that is not how i treat you fatheroooo. Everyone that comes visiting, Eh, and you have to be careful with friendsooo, they will just snatch your husband. see how short that one's skirt is. "That one" is my sister's friend who does not have time for "'small boys''my husband is not on her level.(my sister is also with me which is why my mum is around).Are you not getting too fat,see your legs, and when I skip breakfast, she says I am not eating enough.

Anyway, the main gist is that I wan go do masters for obodo onyibo come september. My mother only just found out. Here goes:

Mama what is this that I am hearing?
Me what?
Mama That you are leaving your husband
Me Leaving my husband, why? I dey craze. Correct bobo like my husband why would I leave him , God forbid bad thing.
Mama Dont use that your smart mouth with me, you know what I mean. what kind of masters degree are you going for, these young people, how old is your marriage, you want to leave him alone, a girl will just come and put kop no me(some sort of love portion) for him. How can you want to take that type of risk?

And so my mother goes on an on. See me see troubleoo, my hubby and I have so carefully thought this out, no one has even bothered to ask me, why we have made this choice now, na so so scream dem dey scream, if no be say i know say my mama love me, I for think say she wish me bad luck. my dear hubby had never heard of Kop nno mi, now the boy is so curious, hey, see as people wan come teach my husbad how to cheat. Now I understand why most Nigerian men cheat on their wives. People actually expect them to.

All these blabbing, I neva get visaoooo, I know say she dey pray mountain of prayer make I no get the visa, God no go gree. This from a woman who studied in the US for three years, dint come home even once during that period, when I confront her, she says my father is a different kind of man, Shuooo, so na my husband come be adulterer.

Better gist. I have everything sorted out about my future life in the Uk except accommodation, I plan to live with my brother but I have been worried about inconveniencing him as he has a chic. Real bornagain naija chic, but you neva knowoo, cold fit catch dem some nights and she go wan sleep over, you know as those dia flats dey small.The whole of my bro's flat na like my kitchen. so I have been wondering, where I go live? na so my broda call me say dem don break up. Her mother said he is the reason her daughter had an extra, say he was distracting her,shuoo, my broda wey like book pass anything. Three hour lecture the woman gave him and then asked him to go see the girl's pastor. My brother being in love carry imself goooo, na so d pastor ask am 100 questions, that just did, he called the thing off. No be bera luck i get so. now i have accommodation problems sorted out, may my brother not discover my blog, or na underbridge I go live. Na ijebu dey do meoo, I no wan work and I no wan spend money for rent.

Friday, August 10, 2007


I am not quite sure how I feel. This feeling must be beyond sadness, beyond anger, beyond frustration. What on earth is going on? Have we really stooped this low, is this some kind of joke? When I first read of this indecent dressing drama, I thought someone was just trying to be funny, but reading Funmi Iyanda’s personal experience, I know now that it is for real.

We cannot take this, we must not take this. We will not take this. Something has to be done, I am tired of being docile. Tired of taking whatever crap is dished out to me. I am telling my mum I must fight this one battle, and she says what can you do, all we can do is pray. This I think is exactly the problem. We have so clouded ourselves with religion that we are almost blind. And our leaders know this so they take advantage. What on earth has prayer got to do with this? What exactly am I supposed to pray about, that God should change the IG or the governor or ….? This is a physical issue for Pete’s sake and must be dealt with physically. Much as I am a Jesus' freak I do remember that when the fishermen had toiled for long without catching any fish,Jesus took their fishing nets and cast it into the sea pulling out several fishes. He didnt command the fishes to jump out of the water into their laps.

I remember when I was at the university; a young girl was raped on campus at about And people said, what was she doing out of her room that early? Did she not know the place was unsafe? Some of these people being women. Nigeria is crazy. Is the armed robber justified because the security guards were asleep? Should the drunk driver who hits someone go free because the pub was open? What on earth is wrong with us?
And so we carried placards in protest, sent letters/articles to the press, one was published, I do not know if it achieved much or anything but I can I least tell my children I did something.

Covenant university is refusing to graduate HIV positive students, and those unmarried but pregnant, NACA(National agency for the control of AIDS) has been trying to reach them, but no one wants to talk. A professor who just finished his Sabbatical at the university says they are all bound by fear, students and lecturers alike, but that is a story for another day. My brother lives in the UK and was recently refused a job because he is Nigerian; they told him to his face. A pregnant colleague fainted at work recently, we have a sick bay but the nurse at duty had no idea what to do, there was no ambulance to call, the hospital card in her bag had no phone number. Issues, issues and more issues and my dear country is arresting women for “indecent” dressing in a state where the governor is a lawyer. If I weren’t so angry I would find this comical.

We should stand up and speak out on this one, or else next they will tell us what hair styles to wear, and what color of lipsticks and nail polish to use. Where are all the activists on blogville, if we must go naked on the streets to be heard, then we should. Nigerians have been disrespected and downtrodden for too long.