See me see toronkwacha.

My mum just came in to town. Na so I no dey hear word againooo. For the love of me, what are you going to eat, for the love of me, you are letting your husband drink garri, eh, with that many cubes of sugar, that is not how i treat you fatheroooo. Everyone that comes visiting, Eh, and you have to be careful with friendsooo, they will just snatch your husband. see how short that one's skirt is. "That one" is my sister's friend who does not have time for "'small boys''my husband is not on her level.(my sister is also with me which is why my mum is around).Are you not getting too fat,see your legs, and when I skip breakfast, she says I am not eating enough.

Anyway, the main gist is that I wan go do masters for obodo onyibo come september. My mother only just found out. Here goes:

Mama what is this that I am hearing?
Me what?
Mama That you are leaving your husband
Me Leaving my husband, why? I dey craze. Correct bobo like my husband why would I leave him , God forbid bad thing.
Mama Dont use that your smart mouth with me, you know what I mean. what kind of masters degree are you going for, these young people, how old is your marriage, you want to leave him alone, a girl will just come and put kop no me(some sort of love portion) for him. How can you want to take that type of risk?

And so my mother goes on an on. See me see troubleoo, my hubby and I have so carefully thought this out, no one has even bothered to ask me, why we have made this choice now, na so so scream dem dey scream, if no be say i know say my mama love me, I for think say she wish me bad luck. my dear hubby had never heard of Kop nno mi, now the boy is so curious, hey, see as people wan come teach my husbad how to cheat. Now I understand why most Nigerian men cheat on their wives. People actually expect them to.

All these blabbing, I neva get visaoooo, I know say she dey pray mountain of prayer make I no get the visa, God no go gree. This from a woman who studied in the US for three years, dint come home even once during that period, when I confront her, she says my father is a different kind of man, Shuooo, so na my husband come be adulterer.

Better gist. I have everything sorted out about my future life in the Uk except accommodation, I plan to live with my brother but I have been worried about inconveniencing him as he has a chic. Real bornagain naija chic, but you neva knowoo, cold fit catch dem some nights and she go wan sleep over, you know as those dia flats dey small.The whole of my bro's flat na like my kitchen. so I have been wondering, where I go live? na so my broda call me say dem don break up. Her mother said he is the reason her daughter had an extra, say he was distracting her,shuoo, my broda wey like book pass anything. Three hour lecture the woman gave him and then asked him to go see the girl's pastor. My brother being in love carry imself goooo, na so d pastor ask am 100 questions, that just did, he called the thing off. No be bera luck i get so. now i have accommodation problems sorted out, may my brother not discover my blog, or na underbridge I go live. Na ijebu dey do meoo, I no wan work and I no wan spend money for rent.