Someone just upset me so bad.
I am chatting with a distant friend on yahoo messenger and he says to me:
'Come home quickly and give your husband a son'. I say nothing and he continues.
'Having a son is a man's pride, I am sure you know that, the moment you give him a son he will love you forever' I am still silent and he adds, 'don't let too much time pass you by'
I just flipped.Is it just this guy I know, or is it Nigerian guys or is it guys generally, why the hell do people just talk without thinking?. Last time I chatted with this guy( I really should stop) he went on and on about this baby issue, why did I leave my husband to come study, was I pregnant?Eventually had to tell him about our last bereavement and silly guy wanted details,imagine. I told him off albeit nicely, but this time I blew my top. If you don't have anything to say, by all means sharrraaap.
A friend of mine lost her baby last year and has since been trying for another. Nothing is happening and when it does, she miscarries.All this is tough on her but the toughest part is neigbours, church members who keep asking her if 'anything has entered, and why they are taking so long'. I know some of these people may mean well, but pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, everyone should know where to draw the line.
Gosh, I am pissed!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Is it just me?
Posted by For the love of me at 1:04 PM
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18 comments:
The need to develop the characteristic trait of empathy (different from sympathy) cannot be oversstated.....
He is a MIGHTY fool. First of all, he should not even be asking such questions, none of his damn business.
Also, considering the fact that you already shared something so personal with him, he should not even DARE to ask those kind of questions. He is a very rude man in my opinion.
As Nneoma said, having empathy for human beings is very important in life. But when I talk now, people will start giving excuses for stupidity, saying it is our "culture", dis, dat, one thing and the other. Hissssssssssssssss!
People in general, should learn how to mind their business, haba! The man should be ashamed of himself, as old as he is, he can not control his mouth! Abeg, don't chat with him again.
Ndo jare, ignore the mumu. You do not owe him any explanations. Who the hell does he think he is?
Meanwhile, calm down, listen to your favourite music, take a hot bath and relax. If na me, u know say na vodka i for use, but as na you, make I recommend hot cocoa. Abi na ice cream you like? Ehen, if na ice cream , just relax, eat the whole bucket self, no wahala...then when you finish all dat, just carry one better novel enter ya bed...abi na film you like? okay, go onlinenigeria.com, all sorts dey there, u go laugh tire...if u still dey pissed after all dis, na to make serious hot eba dis night!
@ nneoma thanx jare
@ waffarian, ur comment made me laugh sotay i don forget the man already. I do feel better, thanx. I am off to online Nigeria, I usually only watch recommended movies,both Nollywood and Hollywood, but I am so bored and who knows, I may get lucky. Thanx again jare.
Just breath!!! people really dont know wen to draw d line and it can just make u blow ur top n den de look @ u like d bad person. I know someone who lost her baby in feb a day before her due date.So annoying. Your friend shouldnt loose faith and u n her dont let d pressure of socirty to get u. How is school o jare.?
I guess this is the reason why many people don't like discussing things that are personal.'Seems you've developed some trust with this guy and he can't respect that. Some people just don't have the words 'sensitivity' and 'boundaries' in their vocabulary.
By the way, I've changed my blog id from naija1st to naijalines.
pele. like your new template by the way
people tend to nose under the guise of friendship. if he cannot draw the line, do not hesitate to draw it for him
please ignore him jare. u should ask him where his own son is... and if he has one, tell him to go mind him
@nikkisab, thanx,perhaps I should refer him for class in life 101.
@naijalines, no I havent developed no trust with this guyoooo,thats why iyt was upsetting, coming from a close friend, I may not have minded but the best part is that close friends are the ones who respect your privacy most.
@nonesuch,thanx, where have you been?
@jinta, I have since drawn the line for him.
@catwalq, I doubt he has a son, he is marrying next month, maybe his reason for marrying is so that his wife will give him a son.
Some pp can be very tactless (and in my narrow experience, i would rank nigerians tops (closely followed by americans and eastern europeans...like i said, my grossly limited opinion)...unfortunately, we have to put up with them and then CUT THEM OFF! yup, stress kills so my advice is to cut off those stress causers, such as your tactless, empathy-lacking, busy-body friend.
I hope you're feeling much muhc better by now after taking Waffy's advice.
At first I wanted to tell you to just say 'Nonsense' and ignore the guy henceforth, but the sad thing is that this type of behavior is seen as 'helping/being concerned' in Naija. Pls tell him off if he advances that way next time. The next time he asks any stupid questions refer him to your husband, lets see if he has the balls to ask him any questions.
Naija people in general should start learning how to mind their business.
Its not just you. He's idjit. When people say things like that, it is my firm belief that they are trying to gather gist that they will spread. Idjit.
It was a good thing you told him off this time if not he would have done it again and again.
Did I remember to say that he is an Idjit?
you know, i have a bad habit of asking things like, 'so when is the wedding' or 'when are you going to start making some mini-mes'...but, not to the extent of your friend...when it is obvious that the questions are making one uncomfortable or sad, i stop...because i know how it feels when people ask me nonsense questions...
...i agree...empathy and a general minding of one's business wouldn't hurt most folks...
i just wonder why some pple are so daft!!! a friend just got me pissed this morning by asking me when and why have not yet made babies. is it a must i asked him and he went on and on justfying how i shd live my life for me.
that is why i dont blame women who put there feet down and conform to no one but to thier own world.
just get over this and always put pple where they belong.
and for the love of me, why do ppple forget that women give birth to men? and they will still emphasis the so call ridiculous male preference.
upper-cut (or how dem dey speel am sef) na him i go get d person. which kain nonsense? na who send dem msg? dem see my husband complaining? even if him dey complain sef, which one concern dem? dem wan born d pickin 4 me?
God, i dey vex pass u now
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