Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Nigeria must be the toughest country to live in. Okay, scratch that as I remember being stuck in Khartoum, Sudan sometime ago.

This morning after driving many miles to drop my car off at the service centre somewhere very far away, I come back home and settle down to write. But of course there is no electricity, and the generators won't start. I apply my little knowledge of machines and get one to work. Thirty minutes after it dies. Pray tell, how do two gens pack up at once, particularly at a time when I have a deadline? So I come to my office, and believe this, the gen isn't working either, Is this what it means to be jinxed? I use the small gen with my heart in my mouth as it has blown up two of my power packs previously.

I put the lapy to charge and off to lunch I go at my buka only to discover they have been closed down by the council or something for having an unclean environment. While this is a good thing, why today that for the love of me is starving and broke and pressed for time?

I am back with my lapy only I can't find the strength to write and my client is calling me incessantly as I have already been paid for the job. I am just staring at the screen, it'll soon be time to hit the gym, I hope no surprises await me there or I will just book into mountain of fire for deliverance.

Sat-3 is down, whatever that is. Starcomms is one of the few functional internet provider in this country at the moment and the speed is....... Only in Nigeria, walai.

Reuben Abati

Don't Panic. It's not another rejoinder to his (goof) article. Instead, I think he may have redeemned his image with this piece.

'President Yar'çdua insults us when the same week that Babalola ruined our December, he told us through egbon Ojo Maduekwe, that we should wait and judge him after his tenure. The Foreign Affairs Minister said: "We will not join hands with those critics, the government will not be distracted by the daily torrent of abuses thrown at its doorsteps by those who do not even know the names of their local government areas. They are intellectual hit men, seen to pull down every administration and are too lazy to fight for power. In the course of time, the outcome of our seven-point agenda will vindicate us." President Obasanjo said precisely the same thing about Nigerians, pipeline vandals and intellectual hit men and see where he has left us. Can Yar'çdua and his hit men please convert all of these many words that continue to tumble out of their mouths into megawatts of electricity and give us light in this country? Then, they can judge us. '

I thought that was fantastic. Yaradua, please kindly do as he has asked, if you are the president, turn these words into electricity.

He also responds nicely to Is-haq Akintola who thinks Arabic should be restored on the Naira notes.
He asks: "The question is what is wrong if Arabic is on the Naira? Is English not there? The Arabic on the Naira symbolizes the existence of Muslims in the country while the English on the Naira represents the Christian population. To remove the Arabic unceremoniously is to tell the Muslims that they do not belong." He wants the Arabic inscriptions restored. Wrong. Absolutely wrong and mischievous.

Yes Mr. Reuben,please tell him. Nigeria is a SECULAR state and will remain so. If you want to be an Islamic fundamentalist so bad, you may want to migrate. I just simply don't understand these guys, How on earth is the presence of Arabic on the naira note going to better the lives of Muslims, Is it going to end the Niger Delta crises which clearly the govt. has no idea what to do or will it provide us electricity? The North has been in power for years and yet the North remains the least developed in Nigeria. Shouldn't Akintola be impressing on his leaders to do something to alleviate the sufferings of the Notherners who are predominantly muslims? He is talking about arabic on Naira notes. If you are looking to start a war, you have failed. People are to hungry to fight unworthy causes.

May something great happen to y'all this week.