It was a good year

Okay, So I'm just having my own thanksgiving. It is in no particular order.

This year Igwe and I celebrated our first anniversary. Something I wasnt sure we would do. Those couples who go five years without a first fight, how on earth do they do it?. Igwe and I fought so much in the first three months, we thought the marriage would crash. We were coming from very different backgrounds and it was tough living together. But love saw us through and here we are, one year after, wondering what it was we were fighting about anyway. I thank God for my marriage, for my husband, he is such a good man. He doesn't pass an accident scene, it scares me to hell, knowing Lagos, but he insists he took an oath, life must come first. And his family, they are such amazing people. May God bless them all.

My mother used to have severe knee ache, at some point she could barley walk. She saw so many professionals but no show, then one day Mama calls, says the pain is all gone. She discovered some container that you put water inside, and it changes the water to medecine, naturally Igwe thinks it's bull. My brother thinks its her mind, says the pain may have been caused because she was worrying too much, now she has an in-law and a grandson, she is much more relaxed and has forgotten about the pain. I do not care for the reason, I just thank God that my mum is well. And my father, he doesnt even suffer from the common cold. They are so healthy, independent, content. I bless God for them.

This year my sister had a baby boy. He is so adorable and has brought us all so much joy.

I have the best friends in the world, they are always there for me, wishing me well, praying me through a tough situation. I thank God for them.

We made some good money from the NSE this year. Amazing returns. And lost some too mostly through those wonder banks. Yes me tooo, I wanted to use 100k and make a million, no be thief I be?

This year I also acquired a brand new car. There are some things I have never bought, phones, perfumes, cars and yet I always have them. My sis gave me my first car, we had a great time, the car and I, then the car got upset, and developed mood swings,overheating today, injector wahala tomorrow, eventually Igwe got tired of being called to come save me from obscure locations so he sold the car and bought me another, tear rubber. I am just so thankful.

This year we lost our baby, it was such a tough time but God saw us through it. I also found that most women do not survive placenta abruptio so it could have been much worse, na so I for just die without winning the nobel. I thank God for life even for pain because I know He can never give us more than we can bear.

I thank God for my blog family. I have met so many wonderful people here. May God bless you all. This will probably be my last post for this year as Igwe is coming so I'm off to my third honeymoon. Have a merry Christmas everyone and a wonderful new year. Please say a prayer for Nigeria as we cross into the new year, for Yardy, the governors, ministers etc, If God can use anything, He can use them to make Nigeria great again.

And to everyone who is going through pain, I leave you with this song, I listened to it over and over during my bereavement and it gave me hope. I dedicate it to positive girl. May you be blessed now and always.

This is not a post

My last few posts have been too serious so I decided I was going to do something light. But this is not it. This just came up and I thought to share it.

A crazed lady has been calling Igwe saying he is her ordained husband. That she has visited many spiritual homes and they all said same thing. Hubby used to work at General hospital and treated her some years back. That as far as I know is their only link. And she isn't youngooo, in her early forties.

Anyway some weeks ago, she appeared in his office begging him to save her from whatever it is that is worrying her by marrying her even if he will divorce her later.

And last night she called again. Same story, marry me or I die.

See me see trouble.

I think he should be careful, avoid her like a plague just incase she decides to use jazz but my doctor husband does not believe in Jazz. If it cannot be explained scientifically, then it does not exist.

What do you guys think?

PS Igwe-hubby

Religion-The Weapon of mass destruction in Africa

I watched in awe as the Sudaneese mob carried placards and matchetes calling for the death of an English teacher for naming a teddy bear Mohammed. Is this another Sudan or is it the same war torn one. Are these the same people who barely have food to eat? Humanitarian services are struggling to keep most of them alive, Nigerian soldiers have been killed there all in a bid to help out and yet there they were marching on the streets , burning pictures of Gillian, calling for her death. Is this what religion has done to us? That we no longer(if we ever did) have respect for life? I remember the cartoon in Denmark, and how they were riots in the North of Nigeria over it. Having worked in a call centre in Nigeria, I know that about 70% of Northerners do not speak English, let alone Danish, so how could they have read the cartoons?

Religion has taken over our sense of reasoning and of judgement.

My sister's nanny is Jehovah's witness. No one told her when she was taking the girl, a few days after she arrived, her mother called to ask if she had gone for teachings. My sister wanted to send her back, but the girl wanted to stay, it was agreed that she will follow my sis to her own church, then when my nephew is a year, he goes to day care, she would also enrol in a school, then she can go for her teachings. Three months on, the family have prevailed on her to come home. And so she is leaving, her chances of a good life temporarily cut short. Let me paint some background pics, this nanny is 20yrs, finished secondary school about three years ago and has been at home doing nothing since. Now, she is returning to the same home to continue doing nothing because her parents think it is the worst sin not to fellowship with other witnesses for 6 months. My sister is very nice, almost to a fault, and is also quite comfortable, the girl lacked for nothing, I even used to take Awake and watchtower magazines to her. I feel sorry for the girl cos she is a nice girl and wants to stay on.

But again, religion has prevailed.

A friend of a friend of a friend is being battered and bruised by her unfaithful husband. We think she should take the kids and scram while she still can, but her pastor says not, there is no room in christendom for divorce. The husband is a worker in church so the pastor is aware of his philandering and violent ways yet he tells her she must submit to her husband. God forbid that he should beat her to death one day, what will he then say, Is there room for murder in Christendom?

I want to say that I respect people's religions, cultures, traditions etc but I can only do so when it positively influences human nature. To use religion to destroy ourselves must not be tolerated. We cannot use religion as an excuse to kill, to maim and destroy people's lives.

Just so you would know,I am not an atheist, I am a Jesus' freak. I have my bible stored everywhere, my phone, my laptop but most importantly, I have it stored in my heart. If I am not able to go to church for a year or more, nothing can take away the fact that I am a Christian and I love the Lord with all my heart.

THE ENEMY WITHIN

A lot of things have been upsetting me resently.

GENEVIEVE NNAJI: Ehn now, that’s the big question. You should ask the marketers in Nigeria. Why haven’t they been premiered? And this is the answer: they can’t be premiered because they are not good quality.
This was a response this star gave at a an interview of the film premiere of 30 days later. She said a whole lot more. Nobody is saying that these films are good quality, we know they are not but Genie, these people made youoooo. Without these marketers, there would simply be no Nollywood today and that is the simple truth. She said once that the film that brought her to limelight was Sharon stone in Abuja, the title alone should tell you the film must have been bull, but it brought her to limelight. And she musn't forget that, from the days that she couldn't act to save her life and these marketers gave her a chance over and over again. Now, she is a mega star she's calling the marketers names. 30 days later, Keeping faith were premiered not neccessarily because of quality but because of funds. And she would never have been a part of it had those marketers not first of all starred her in their 'bad quality films'.What am I saying, that you should not bite the fingers that fed you, it's okay for outsiders to say that the marketers are doing balderdash but not you Genie. There's something called diplomacy. You can say these same things but in very different words, the message would still be there without anyone feeling insulted. Isn't that why we went to school? Once I read an article by Femi Osofisan, beautifully written piece, how since they the literary veterans have better stories, and the marketers have the means, they should collaborate, sounded really cool, but at the end he called them illiterates, and I just thought for God's sake, why is he blowing it?

I hated my job, there were so many things I thought were wrong with the system, but I would not publicly come out and say that the company was full of sh*t. They gave me a job when no one else did, they paid my bills for two and a half bleeding years, I may not be ecstatic but at least I am grateful.

Anyway, I also read that Baba OBJ said Chief tout Adedibu is the father of PDP, why on earth can't he just shut up and concentrate on producing broiler eggs? Why do they give him a chance to speak anyways?

The one that upset me most was this article in punch by a female writer, I am still trying to get her email, If I have to go to punch to find her, I will. Here is an excerpt;
"Some ladies present were raped, while some luckily escaped. Surprised? You should't be. But need we blame the rapists? What with the dressing of the girls, who were scantly dressed?"
So the rapists were justified because the girls were scantily dressed. Is a drunk driver justified because the pub was open, or the thief because the security guard was asleep?And it was written by a woman, why are we our own worst enemies? Thinking about it now, I dont think a guy would have written that. Why is it easier to blame the 16 year old for following an aristo, and the forty something year old aristo himself is given a pat on the back for being an aristo. Who should know better?And these newspaper articles, dont they get edited, did that piece pass through a second opinion? I am just so mad. Why is it the mother most times that thinks the woman should endure a violent marriage? I can imagine telling my mum, I want to leave my husband perhaps because he is beating me, she would probably find ways to blame me, tell me how my father never beat her but that is because she never pushed him to the wall, whereas if I did tell my dad, he would probaby arrive at my house the next day, walking stick in one hand and armed policemen in another. Nobody messes with his girl, he would thunder.

Why why do women hate one another so? If we dont stand up for a sister, who will?

Beads for christmas

Isnt this just creative! Interested, please visit beadsfactor.blogspot.com

Just a thought

I just love the guardian's opinion page, please go to this link.
http://www.guardiannewsngr.com/editorial_opinion/article04


On a lighter note, a few days ago, my brother's colleague, a woman of nearly 70 came up to him whispered something strange and asked if she got it right. My brother looked confused so she said how do you say goodbye in your language?
"what is my language" he asked?
And with all confidence she said "Gambian"
I am Nigerian and not Gambian
Really? Doesnt that mean you speak Gambian? I thought all Africans speak the same language.

My brother has been quite upset but I thought it was quite funny. And I have been wondering why Africa has so many languages anyway? Why does Nigeria with a population of about 140 million have about 250 languages whereas USA with a population of about 301 million, there's only one language?

WARNING- LONG POST

I pledge to Nigeria my country
To be faithful loyal an honest
To serve Nigeria with all my strength
To defend her unity
And uphold her honour and glory
So help me God


Yesterday at graduate fair, a student said he wanted his project topic to be on how to reduce risks on expatriates’ life in countries like Nigeria case studies-Shell workers in the Niger delta.

I thought, best way to is ask them to leave. Easy. Then I panicked, what if they actually leave, I mean I know there’s a fat chance of that happening but what if it does, what if these militants actually succeed in driving them out or something else does. What exactly would happen? Can we drill our own oil? Would we be able to successfully build and operate our own oil companies? I am sure we know the answer to that. Remember Nigerian airways and more recently Nigeria textile company(forgive me, I am not sure of the exact name of the company but they just folded up at a time that wearing African textiles is hip.)

All day I have been thinking what is it that makes the Nigerian unable to do his own business as well as he should. I know there’s Dangote, Mike Adenuga, the man or people behind Chi foods and so many others but are these enough? Will these keep Nigeria alive if tomorrow all we have is ourselves to cater for ourselves?

Which brings me to an aspect of Nigeria I am hugely interested in. Nollywood. This for me is the next big thing as agriculture is slowly dying if it hasn’t yet died. And I still don’t quite get the banking system, My mind is perhaps like that of a 6 year old, why do they keep raising funds, from one IPO to another, and sending women out as corporate beggars to raise funds, and funds and more funds. Funds that most people can’t borrow because of crazy interest rates. Anyway back to Nollywood, what makes Emem Isong (whom I think may be the best script writer of our times) not take a course in film production or screen writing or anything closely related since she left theatre school in 1990.She tells me she has read all the screen writing books there is to read and perhaps it is enough. Why has Lancelot Imasuen, an immense talent , not thought of furthering his career, to learn a few new tricks. Will talent alone sustain us in 2020? A Canadian film maker recently visited Nigeria, he told Emem about all her films, he had watched every one of them and sought her out when he got here. He told her what he thought was right and what was wrong and is thinking of a collabo. Why does the white man look at something and think of ways to improve it and enrichen himself thereby,cos don’t get it wrong, its not because he wants to make Nigeria or Nollywood better, he has seen the possibility of huge profits here and he is trying to cash in. And all we Nigerians are seeing is how crap Nollywood films are? My biggest fear with Nollywood is that one day we will wake up and we would have lost control of it to expatriates and even if they are telling the same stories, we would embrace it because it’s coming from the colonial masters.

I always say that if Chimamanda had not first gained international recognition, then we would have snubbed her here. “What does she think she is writing” we would have asked, what can she possibly know about the Biafran war, small girl that she is.

I think that Half of a yellow sun gained international acclaim because it is a fantastic book, written by someone I consider a genius but also because of its theme. When you are writing about Africa, you must dwell on war, on corruption etc. and the western world will embrace you, which is why I put up the story below, it won because I portrayed Nigeria as foolish, why would a child give out his 13 year old daughter in marriage and why would a full grown man sleep with one knowing the possible consequences. There’s only one answer, because he is African and that’s how the western world likes to see us. If you attempt to leave the box, then you go nowhere. Try watching CNN for only an hour, and see all the hungry poverty stricken black faces you see there and the 419 scammers.

A Nollywood flick recently showed at Odeon, they spent 40million or so(I am deliberately being vague) to convert the film to 3mm or something like that just to show in the London cinema. I keep asking why? Why is it so important for us to show in London, is the population in Nigeria not enough? I keep thinking what a whooping 40 million would have done to the film industry, it could have started plans for a film village which we badly need.
Nollywood is the one industry that shows glamourous cars, lovely houses and dwells on positive themes, love, career etc. so why are ignoring it, except ECOBANK, God bless them.

I am sad and worried, when push comes to shove, will Leke Alder’s thinking room sustain our economy, will Dangote’s spaghetti feed our nation? Will Tara’s make up beautify even our hearts?

Open our eyes Lord to see opportunities in our nation and grasp them.

Teach us Lord to love one another, seeking only one another’s good.

Let the wise not hoard their wisdom but share it with the not so wise amongst us so that together we can make Nigeria great.

So help us Lord, Amen.

And so I am in the UK for my masters. This is the first time I have been away from my husband this long and my, it is hard. I do not know how I am going to survive a year. If I hadnt paid my fees, I may just have upped and gone back home. I miss him like crazy. Being away from him has made me realise just how much I need him. I pray God gives us both the strength to cope. He calls me like five times a day telling me christmas'll be here before I know and we'll be together. Everyday when I wake, I thank God for him, he is so good it amazes me.

It was 7 degrees here this morning and this crazy people said it's not so cold. My brother wondered why I was shivering inspite wearing like 4 clothes. I am coming from a country where it's usually twenty something and they ask me why I am shivering.

Still on Patricia Etteh, I found the article in the link below quite an interesting read. Now we have something else to remember her by. May the soul of Aminu Shuaibu Safana rest in peace. One simply does not speak evil of the dead.

http://www.guardiannewsngr.com/editorial_opinion/article04

Finally

Today was my last day at a job I have hated for over two years. I finally found the courage to up and leave. I feel great relief, it is something I should have done since. Now I can face my passions, pursue my dreams and God willing have my name written in history books.

My brother has been a major rock that I have leaned on on this literary sojourn, always asking me when last I wrote something, and telling me which competitions to enter for. Sometimes he tears my works to pieces asking if I was half asleep as I wrote it, in all he has brought me here. And I say a big thank you. To my family and friends who have promised to watch my back, this is saying God bless you. And to the man of the moment and a life time, my hubby who calls me Oriaku,they say it means "chopper of my wealth", may all good things be yours.

On project Nollywood

I wanted so badly for the films to be nice. The Ecobank project films-project Nollywood. Particularly Caught in the middle.
My friend kept saying to me, Is it not Charles Novia, his films are all crap. I said this is different; he had time, he had money, he wasn’t forced to make the movie into two parts. And so I bought the film, filled with so much hope, to say that I was disappointed would be an understatement. My friend had a good laugh. He lifted the story from "How to lose a man in ten days", stole some things from "you’ve got mail." I don’t even have a problem with his copying but come on copy with dignity. What is going on with this Nollywood, why are we going backwards? Ten years ago, films were much better, I remember Living in bondage, The world is mine, Breaking point, Rattle snake and so many others. Now apart from a few producers, everyone else is doing crap. My question to Charles Novia is did he have to write the script himself. You were directing, producing, isn’t that enough credit? Must you take more? With all that money and time, why didn’t you call for scripts, there are wonderful writers in Nigeria, who have no platform to show their works, you could have given someone a chance. And your film would have made more sense. An average Idumota film is better than that crap you did, and most Idumota people have only SSCE.

Nollywood is taking advantage of its viewers. The people who watch movies would buy just about anything and they may actually enjoy it. But I buy too. And I want value for my money. I knew 100 days in a jungle would not be nice but I tried it all the same, of course it was worse. I couldn’t watch past the first 20 minutes.I remember Chico Ejiro from full moon, Juliet must die etc. Ten years after, his movies are still the same.or worse.

When I watched jetta’s Amazing grace, I was upset too. Same script problem, what’s wrong with all of them? I am a writer and I know when I have written something bad. I attended a workshop recently and I have learnt that it is not so much about talent but hard work, You can’t stop at the first draft, you have got to do 3, 4, or 5. You should have had a script conference, rubbed so many minds together,and I don’t mean putting a lot of empty minds together. I don’t even know what Jetta was trying to say in that film. The oyibo’s have their version of amazing Grace, released a few months after ours was. The difference was clear, not a fantastic film but the message was clear, they made themselves the villains and turned themselves into heroes. Yes they started slave trade, but they also abolished it. What exactly was Jetta saying? But Jetta should win a gold medal compared to what this project Nollywood people have done. There is no difference between them and road contractors who use cheap materials to repair roads knowing the first sign of rain would return the roads to the previous conditions. This is what Charles and his team have done, They got a contract and used cheap materials. You owe the public a responsibility to make good films. Clean up your acts!

Everyone blames the Nollywood problem on Idumota, now we know it’s not. It is this our oversabi attitude that is killing us. You can’t write, you can’t write. Period. Buy a script or have someone screenplay your story. And get someone who has brains to do your casting. The story doesn’t matter so much, the treatment does. The 500 naira I spent buying Caught in the middle and 100 days in the jungle could have fed an entire family.
I watched an interview with Charles Novia yesterday and he said he spent two years making this film, he called it his very best. When they asked him how rich he is, he was listing several cars, cars are not riches you know, knowledge is. Take a course in directing, improve yourself. Don’t crash the market before it has even fully kicked off because that’s what you guys are doing. Did you watch sitanda? Another stolen story, this time from another home video but I forgive them because the directing was beautiful, the shots were amazing, I can’t remember saying nice shot to any situation in Caught in the middle. I know the person writing the next Ambo story, I know they have made him do seven drafts so far. That’s more like it. I expect their next film to be so much better than the previous. The oyibo’s are not better than us, they just work harder, we have good stories but such terrible treatment. Let’s stop being so selfish, share your credits, share your money, that’s the only way we can improve. I would restrict my money to films made by Amaka Igwe, Emem Isong, Ego Boyo and only so I won’t be accused of gender discrimination, I will add Kingsley ogoro to my list.

I am for anything Nigerian. I want to beat my chest anywhere and stand proud of Nollywood. Please make it easy for me. And dear Amaka Igwe do us a favour and yank that fuji house stuff off the TV, I know you are still getting loads of adverts but money isn’t everything, your name is at stake. The program has since outlived its lifespan.

See me see toronkwacha.

My mum just came in to town. Na so I no dey hear word againooo. For the love of me, what are you going to eat, for the love of me, you are letting your husband drink garri, eh, with that many cubes of sugar, that is not how i treat you fatheroooo. Everyone that comes visiting, Eh, and you have to be careful with friendsooo, they will just snatch your husband. see how short that one's skirt is. "That one" is my sister's friend who does not have time for "'small boys''my husband is not on her level.(my sister is also with me which is why my mum is around).Are you not getting too fat,see your legs, and when I skip breakfast, she says I am not eating enough.

Anyway, the main gist is that I wan go do masters for obodo onyibo come september. My mother only just found out. Here goes:

Mama what is this that I am hearing?
Me what?
Mama That you are leaving your husband
Me Leaving my husband, why? I dey craze. Correct bobo like my husband why would I leave him , God forbid bad thing.
Mama Dont use that your smart mouth with me, you know what I mean. what kind of masters degree are you going for, these young people, how old is your marriage, you want to leave him alone, a girl will just come and put kop no me(some sort of love portion) for him. How can you want to take that type of risk?

And so my mother goes on an on. See me see troubleoo, my hubby and I have so carefully thought this out, no one has even bothered to ask me, why we have made this choice now, na so so scream dem dey scream, if no be say i know say my mama love me, I for think say she wish me bad luck. my dear hubby had never heard of Kop nno mi, now the boy is so curious, hey, see as people wan come teach my husbad how to cheat. Now I understand why most Nigerian men cheat on their wives. People actually expect them to.

All these blabbing, I neva get visaoooo, I know say she dey pray mountain of prayer make I no get the visa, God no go gree. This from a woman who studied in the US for three years, dint come home even once during that period, when I confront her, she says my father is a different kind of man, Shuooo, so na my husband come be adulterer.

Better gist. I have everything sorted out about my future life in the Uk except accommodation, I plan to live with my brother but I have been worried about inconveniencing him as he has a chic. Real bornagain naija chic, but you neva knowoo, cold fit catch dem some nights and she go wan sleep over, you know as those dia flats dey small.The whole of my bro's flat na like my kitchen. so I have been wondering, where I go live? na so my broda call me say dem don break up. Her mother said he is the reason her daughter had an extra, say he was distracting her,shuoo, my broda wey like book pass anything. Three hour lecture the woman gave him and then asked him to go see the girl's pastor. My brother being in love carry imself goooo, na so d pastor ask am 100 questions, that just did, he called the thing off. No be bera luck i get so. now i have accommodation problems sorted out, may my brother not discover my blog, or na underbridge I go live. Na ijebu dey do meoo, I no wan work and I no wan spend money for rent.

WHAT A SHAME

I am not quite sure how I feel. This feeling must be beyond sadness, beyond anger, beyond frustration. What on earth is going on? Have we really stooped this low, is this some kind of joke? When I first read of this indecent dressing drama, I thought someone was just trying to be funny, but reading Funmi Iyanda’s personal experience, I know now that it is for real.

We cannot take this, we must not take this. We will not take this. Something has to be done, I am tired of being docile. Tired of taking whatever crap is dished out to me. I am telling my mum I must fight this one battle, and she says what can you do, all we can do is pray. This I think is exactly the problem. We have so clouded ourselves with religion that we are almost blind. And our leaders know this so they take advantage. What on earth has prayer got to do with this? What exactly am I supposed to pray about, that God should change the IG or the governor or ….? This is a physical issue for Pete’s sake and must be dealt with physically. Much as I am a Jesus' freak I do remember that when the fishermen had toiled for long without catching any fish,Jesus took their fishing nets and cast it into the sea pulling out several fishes. He didnt command the fishes to jump out of the water into their laps.

I remember when I was at the university; a young girl was raped on campus at about 5.30.am. And people said, what was she doing out of her room that early? Did she not know the place was unsafe? Some of these people being women. Nigeria is crazy. Is the armed robber justified because the security guards were asleep? Should the drunk driver who hits someone go free because the pub was open? What on earth is wrong with us?
And so we carried placards in protest, sent letters/articles to the press, one was published, I do not know if it achieved much or anything but I can I least tell my children I did something.

Covenant university is refusing to graduate HIV positive students, and those unmarried but pregnant, NACA(National agency for the control of AIDS) has been trying to reach them, but no one wants to talk. A professor who just finished his Sabbatical at the university says they are all bound by fear, students and lecturers alike, but that is a story for another day. My brother lives in the UK and was recently refused a job because he is Nigerian; they told him to his face. A pregnant colleague fainted at work recently, we have a sick bay but the nurse at duty had no idea what to do, there was no ambulance to call, the hospital card in her bag had no phone number. Issues, issues and more issues and my dear country is arresting women for “indecent” dressing in a state where the governor is a lawyer. If I weren’t so angry I would find this comical.

We should stand up and speak out on this one, or else next they will tell us what hair styles to wear, and what color of lipsticks and nail polish to use. Where are all the activists on blogville, if we must go naked on the streets to be heard, then we should. Nigerians have been disrespected and downtrodden for too long.

Could not find a title.

Today was the first day of chimamanda Adichie's creative writing workshop and my humble self was in attendance. She is such a simple lady, absolutely unaware of her beauty and her talent.

Each partcipant was given a few minutes to introduce themselves, which was probably a mistake, some people just didnt stop talking. One lady said she started writing at the age of twelve. She gave us the precise date and time. She went further to mention so many other works she had written, their titles and synopsis and how she tore up some of them in anger. Chimamanda had to cut her short asking her to round up but she still didn't get it, she spent another five to ten minutes rounding up. I used to think that writers were the "tushest" people but my dear friend disillusioned me. She was completely unaware of the yawns and frowns of the rest of us. One other lady said she was hoping Chimamanda would find her a literary agent, Haba, first day? I just thought na wa for usooooo.
But it was fun, a lot of intellectual and creative people. and fidelity bank gave us some mouth watering dishes.

My sister is reading the guardian newspaper and is telling me about the university of Illorin's intention to ban male students from braiding hair and wearing earings. Nigeria continues to amaze me. what bleeding business has the school authority with the way the students look at a time where the quality of our education is so low. It reminds me of the last time I was at the university of Ibadan, where a lecturer said my hair wasn't fit for the academic environment.(I have dreadlocks) I graduated about 6 years ago and some crap lecturer who imparted absolutely nothing to me dared to comment on my hair? By the time I finished with him, he apologised and ran.

I look forward to a time where we will move from such mundane things and concentrate on higher matters, where people will not be judged by their appearance but the contents of their minds. I was at the university of leicester some time ago, and was shocked by their dressing. I couldnt help it, I stared. This is the least concern of the lecturer,all they want is a chance to mould their students into tomorow's giants in every industry irrespective of how they dress.

MY TAKE ON SOME ISSUES

ON FEMALE CIRCUMCISION
That the name is female circumcision and not female genital mutilation. That the white man labeled it female genital mutilation in a bid to make Africa seem barbaric. I am against the practice. I do not see the need for it but I think the practitioners should be educated and not condemned. What they do, they do mostly out of ignorance.

ON LOVE
That the definition lies with each of us; it could be a feeling, a choice, a passion, a fat bank account, great sex etc. It all depends.

ON MARRIAGE
That it is not a do or die affair. It does not guarantee happiness, success or anything of the sort. That there are no laid down rules for achieving a good marriage, what works in yours may not work in mine. For some husbands, submitting to them may work, for others you may need to flog them, just kidding.

ON DIVORCE
That it is allowed. If a man hits you once, run. You don’t know what he is going to do the next time. Many have died before from domestic violence, don’t be the next. I don’t know if a woman can beat a man up, but if your wife beats you up, run. Violence should not be tolerated, particularly not in the home, there is too much at stake.

ON HOMOSEXUALITY
That I cannot judge what I do not understand.

ON INFIDELITY
That it works both ways, As the married man finds himself attracted to some gal other than his wife, so does the woman. You may not be able to control your feelings or thoughts, but you most certainly can control your actions.

ON POVERTY
That it is not inevitable. We can actually have a poor free country and we shouldn’t wait for the government. They have disappointed us for several years now and may continue to do so. I am going to take a leaf from 36inchesofbrownlegs and sponsor a child. Do same if you can. You may not be able to upturn an entire ocean but you can cast a stone to cause many ripples.

ON MUSIC
That is the fruit of love so play excess of it. (This is a stolen line, Shakespeare I think)

ON THE WOMAN
That society doesn’t favor her, dating back to the bible days, where the adulterous woman was caught in the act, which means the man must have been there too but they brought only the woman for stoning. So women learn to love yourselves. You are your own best friend. Be always prepared..


ON LIFE
That it is the best gift God has given us all. So live up! Work hard, play hard, eat well, exercise, and love more. You may be lucky and live long or you may die tomorrow. There are no certainties so give each day your best shot.

More on Tinapa

A side view of the studio Tinapa
The entrance
Everywhere is so green in Calabar
On of the shops
And another

The lovely Tinapa

A view of some shops

Away in Tinapa

I have been away in Calabar,having the time of my life. Donald Duke makes me proud. Tinapa is absolutely beautiful, will put up pictures later. My internet connection is crazy at the moment so I may be out of touch for a while till I can change sources. Will be back as soon as I can.

Shout out to Chimamnda and Achebe. Inspite of Obj's attempts to drag our(nigeria) name in the mud, these guys refused to let him succeed. Nigeria has received some positive recognition via these duo for their creative writing excellence. To Chimamnda and Achebe, I doff my hat.

Unbeatable Chelsea

We won, we won!

Yippie, hippie, hurray!

Come on, lets pop the champagne, Chelsea got the cup!

We are the winners!

April 21

I will remember this date for two reasons; I lost my baby, and the Nigerian presidential elections.

The loss of a child is something I will not wish even on my worst enemy. It is extremely painful. Anyway I woke up on this bright Saturday determined to beat my husband in scrabble as he beat me on almost all the games on the previous saturday. instead we had to rush to hospital. My car typically would not start so we called my brother in law who practically flew down and off we were to the hospital, there was no car in sight,no buses, no bikes, absolutely none. I kept thinking, what if we didn't have a car, or someone we could call, when the country declares no movement, does it occur to them that some women would go into preterm labour, that some children would have terrible asthma/epileptic/ulcer attacks, and would need to be rushed to hospitals? How are these emergency cases expected to get to hospital, with no cabs, buses or bikes plying the roads, and no ambulances to call.Are they just supposed to sit at home quietly and die? I have never tried the Celtel emergency 199 service. I do hope it works, I certainly appreciate their effort more.

So we get to the hospital. I am rushed into an emergency room, The O and G is called, He is at a polling booth, he comes as soon as he can but it is still a while and all this time, the girl bleeds away. He says it is bad, surgery is the only way out, and so the anaethesist is called and the paediatrician, the clock is ticking, they arrive as soon as they can.

My baby lives but only for a few hours. they did their best,and I believe them. My anger is more at the system, I had tried to call the hospital from home,network issues. Maybe just maybe, if everything was in place before I got there, maybe I would be holding my baby in my arms now.

On a lighter note, we sent an sms out to people informing them of our tragedy, we said they could sms but we were not receiving calls and people started calling immediately! Is it that we don't read? And people said all sorts, it's better it happened now than if the child was older? says who? some said maybe I wasn't resting enough? like I wasn't feeling bad enough! And they dared to blame me.
Our families and friends have however been wonderful. My mother in law particularly, and my friends took turns to be with me at home, I didn't lift a finger for two weeks. May God bless them.

God,Pease let me play God for just one day

A few days ago, a friend of a friend was stabbed by area boys at Apongbon,She bled to death.

I am seething with anger at the government, at our leaders because the killers will not be found. And tomorrow another person might just may fall victim. Police reports confirm that attacks occur at Lagos island everday and they advise us to avoid the area. what if I cant avoid it? what if I work there,should I quit cos our security system is Zero?

The deceased made a 1st class. She had a good job, a baby of about one and a dear husband. She is what you would call an asset to the nation. If we are not loosing our talents to the Western world, we are loosing them to crazy deaths.

I am angry. I cannot describe how angry I am. I can only show it. Lord please, Let me be God, for just one day,one day is all I ask.

Baby,baby,baby

For the past three months, i have had low cut on my head and it has been absolutely wonderful. No driers or long hours of braiding, no dandruff either. Have a bath and wash everywhere,head to toe. Unfortunately my joy was shortlived as my hubby ordered me to get a new look. And coward that I am, I rushed off to get the look.
And so I get to the salon only to meet my favourite hairdresser pregnant. The girl is a teenager for pete's sake. How do these girls do these things, maybe the question isnt how but why? the father is probably some trainee mechanic or carpenter who can barely eat and she let him get her pregnant,Much as I believe in abstinence, I know it would be hard to teach these girls, but havent they ever heard of protection, Im shocked that in 2007,okay she must have been pregnant in 2006,girls still throw their legs apart and throw caution to the wind. She is not even a paid hairdresser, she is still a trainee which means she isnt getting paid so what is the fate of that child. Im really pissed at girls,here I am ,fighting circumsision,rape,etc and there some girl is letting herself be banged and by some idiot at that. I take it out on my friend who owns the salon, accuse her of not giving the girls sex education.
I too,am with child, I have a job, I also run a bussiness,my husband works as hard as it is possible for a human to work,off by 7.am,sometimes not back till 11pm,yet still I worry, what with a country like ours.
Will I be able to give her enough? Will she stand a chance at Havard,Yale,Leeds?
I get to my office this morning and what do I meet,my teenage office attendant retching away. She tells me she has malaria but she has no temparature and her eyes are as bright as the sun. I say a silent prayer,Lord let it be Malaria,please.